Go help a crow

OK, goofy start. We’re back, post Canada Day. Aaron reads us a couple of crazy headlines that generate a few unintentional laughs. Maybe it’s because he’s starting to now eat breakfast before coming in.

Tasso’s in a silly mood because he has a cold, which is a weird side effect.

We do our first email joke, a classic.

We talk coffee, Starbucks specifically. Bad times all around. Aaron thinks they should have it in the pumps at gas stations

Aaron had a weird run in with a giant crow outside of his house. He tried to talk to it in a soft voice, and it flew away.

Time for a drum intro, I think this one’s pretty tough.

Tasso asked about Aarons date with Cindy Crawford. Apparently it went really well. Sure, sure.

Our jazz expert Dr. Fleibissen is on to tell us what's happening at the jazzfest. He hasn’t been to many shows, but he’s loving the fest.

Finally time for an email joke! This one’s from Frank:
Little Johnny’s father goes to the doctor complaining of tiredness and headaches. "I feel tired all the time, my head hurts, and I'm not sleeping. What is it, Doc?"
The doctor examines him thoroughly and says, "I can't find anything wrong. It must be the drinking."
"Fair enough," Johnny’s dad said. "I'll come back when you sober up."
Why do they call it a grapefruit anyway? And what’s “sorbet” all these questions and more – will probably never be answered. All this to say, the guys love them some grapefruit sorbet.
Winnie is finally leaving Aaron’s place, with some of his stuff. Are there squatter’s rights after two weeks? Anyway, she’s going to Tasso’s now. Good luck buddy.

Singing into garlic

The guys kick it off by talking about Aaron’s daughter who’s on her way to NYC. Tasso still remembers her as a little one, singing into garlic.

Did you hear about the marauding elephants in India? Tasso thinks the best way to get rid of them would be to dress as a mouse, but apparently stinky camels are the best way.

Time for the early morning request, somebody wants to hear “Journey” so of course we play “Roberta Flack”

A SUPER easy drum intro today – you gotta know this one. Got a winner in two seconds.

Top 4 time, Bill Gates retirement plans.

We play some yes/no with the kids for a Friday. Emma’s up first. And she’s out in 1 second.

No winners, but a fun game none the less.

Email joke time:
A three-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctor's office.
He inquisitively asked the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"
She replied, "I'm having a baby."
With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"
She answered, "He sure is."
Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"
She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby."
With an even more surprised and shocked look he asked, "Then why did you eat him?"

Aaron has a date this weekend. With Cindy Crawford. Kind of.

One more drum intro, might be a tough one; Cher’s ‘Half breed’ not too tough after all!

Winnie called to try to make amends with Aaron, but I don’t think its working; especially since she used his credit card to buy the wine for him.

It’s our big Canada day weekend and Aaron kicks it off by playing some Andy Kim.

A Jazz "Idle thought" to kick off the start of the Jazz fest. Get it? Have a great Canada Day!

Sharper Image Weather-resistant Grill Fork Thursday

Some “polititalk” (hey, I just made up that word!)

Phillipe Couillard, Maxime Bernier

A titanic life jacket that got auctioned for $65,000!

Leonard Cohen called to give Aaron heck over his driving. The guy was bouncing off the walls.

Top 4 worst Sharper Image products. Some of them sound good to me.

Aaron plays us some Kid Rock, and then the fake “steal everything” PSA. What do you think?

We have a “Jazz professional” on the air to tell us what’s going on tonight. He’s a little wound up, but an interesting guy!

Email joke time, from Catherine
A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and was on the verge of being burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to change careers
and become an auto mechanic.

He found out from the local technical college what was involved, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently and learned all he could. When the time for the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill.

When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the instructor saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wondered if there has been an error that needs adjusting?" The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly which is also worth 50% of the mark."

The instructor went on to say, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did all of it through the muffler.

Lenny makes his apology to Spanish soccer fans. In Spanish. The guys amazing.

Winnie had a party at Aaron’s place and had a few problems. She drank his OLD wine from 1902.

Top 4 and we’re done!

What day is it again?

Suzanne is on vacation till next week, but the rest of us are here. On a Wednesday. It's weird, last night felt like Sunday.

So everyone enjoyed their St jean’s celebrations, from where they were.

Aaron had a weird run in with Leonard Cohen, who drives way too slow. His show had a great review though.

We have a listener request, from a woman who doesn't want to hear that Little hybrid parody, so of course we play it for her.

Yet another interesting Today in history fact informative.

Aaron tells us the Top 4 ways to know it’s summer, and we realize that some of these are actually true!

It was time for an 80’s song intro - and even though there's no Suzanne to get it, we get a winner right away.

Aaron had a bbq over the weekend which turned out to be a vegatarian one, since he forgot the meat.

Mayor Tremblay calls us up with yet another slogan, that guy is always thinking.

Email joke from Shannon:
The friends were both only a year short of retirement from the assembly line, but one Monday morning that didn't keep Joe from boasting to Manny about his sexual endurance. "Three times," gasped Manny admiringly. "How'd you do it?" "It was easy." Joe looked down modestly. "I made love to my wife, and then I rolled over and took a ten-minute nap. When I woke up again, I made love to her again and took another ten-minute nap. And then I put it to her again. Can you believe it! I woke up this morning feeling like a bull, I'll tell you." "I gotta try it," said Manny. "Lorraine won't believe it's happening." So that night he made love to his wife, took a ten-minute nap, made love to her again, took another nap, woke up and made love to her a third time, then rolled over and fell sound asleep. He woke up feeling like a million bucks, pulled on his clothes, and ran to the factory, where he found his boss waiting outside for him. "What's up, Boss?" he asked. "I've been working for you for twenty years and never been late once. You aren't going to hold these twenty minutes against me now, are you?" "What twenty minutes?" growled the boss. "Where were you on Tuesday and Wednesday?"

Katie melua comes in to chat. She's in town for the Jazzfest. She's got two shows coming up.

A what’s this question and our second caller figures out that nobody sends postcards anymore.

More on Aaron's Leonard Cohen encounter and we're done for the day. See you tomorrow.

Seedless Friday

Wow. Off to a crazy start today! Suzanne is off on vacation first of all. We’re talking about severed feet, seedless grapes, Croatian soccer and all kinds of craziness.

Laura Brannigan is our listener request, and we actually play “Ti Amo”

Email joke and straight into a drum intro; “Shake your groove thing”

Mayor Tremblay calls in to give us a couple of new slogans. That guy never stops working.

We got a winner for our drum intro, it’s Crystal!

Top 4 noisiest toys – and they sure sound noisy!

Time for another drum intro – this one’s from Shalimar “The second time around” do you remember it???

We’ve got an email joke and it’s about lawyers; thanks Anita!
A truck driver amused himself by running over lawyers as they walked down the side of the road. Every time he saw a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him. There would be a loud "thud", and then he would swerve back on the road.

As the truck driver drove along one day, he saw a priest hitch hiking, he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?"

The priest said he was on his way to his church up the road.

"I'll give you a lift."

The priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. Suddenly, the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively swerved to hit him. At the last minute, he remembered he had a priest in the truck and swerved back onto the road. Even though he knew he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud "thud." Unsure of where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors. When he didn't see anything, he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry, Father. I almost hit a lawyer."

The priest replied, "That's OK, I got him with the door."

Kids yes/no time – it goes really well for Mikael, he’s our first contestant and has NO problem.

Lenny the intern has a few questions about dating, we tried to help him, but we’re not sure if it worked.

It’s our buddy Sam Ting on the phone! He’s promoting Kung Fu Panda. We have no idea why.

That’s it for today, see you on Wednesday! Have a great weekend.

Sharp dressed man

Tasso can’t get over the fact that Aaron came in wearing a suit today. He won’t say what he has to do after the show, but it looks cool.

So Aaron’s mom wants to know why he’s wearing a suit today. We’re posting a picture, but it’s kind of hard to explain it to her.

Top 4 cheapest vacation destinations, we may wind up at one of these this year.

Another tough drum intro – Pat Benatar and Suzanne once again knows it! Maude wins, and she is HAPPY!

Larry Day is in to tell us about Strangers in the Night which is happening on the 28th for the Starlight foundation.

Now the country song of the week; Keith Urban’s “You look good in my shirt”. What do you think?

It’s the email joke of the day, this one’s from Colombe:
Basically, a guy walks into a record store and realizes he forgot his wallet. Rather than going home to get it, he decides to steal it by putting it down his pants. As he tries to sneak out, the cashier yells at him; “hey, is that a record in your pants?” to which he replies; “I don’t think so, but I haven’t had any complaints”

Hey its our pal Renato on the phone! He’s pretty psyched about the Italian soccer team, and he’s SURE they're gonna go all the way.

Q92 orchestra time, to Roxette’s “she’s got the look”. Winnie watched TV with Aaron last night, since she’s stuck staying in his house. She wants to have a friend over while Aarons gone this weekend. Can you imagine he said it was OK?

We close off with a vacation song for Suzanne, since she’s gone for the next two weeks on vacation.

See you tomorrow!

Aaron is locked out

Aaron got locked out of his house yesterday

Tasso thinks electric toilets are a bad idea. Even if it has an Mpooh3 player

Song request for the Zombies, but Aaron’s not playing that one. He’s playing the Youngblood’s instead “get together”. Why not?

Gas talk, never a good thing.

“Don’t tap on the glass”

Aaron introduces the crew, not the least of whom Suzanne Desautels in the “cage of rage”

What would you do with no cell phone or electricity? Tasso would know. Aaron not so much.

We play an imaginary wedding tape of George Takei’s wedding, officiated by William Shatner.

Top 4 mp3 tazer songs, part IV

Do you remember our driving song? “Bitch” with our pal Irene Marc singing? It’s been a while, but Aaron plays it to get out some of his driving frustrations.

Winnie is still in the basement, and she needs a few things to spruce the place up. Lamp, comforter, food, the basics.

Email joke time – this one’s from Joanna:
An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat tight so that it would not blow away in the wind.

A gentleman approached her and said,

"Pardon me, madam.

I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?"

"Yes, I know," said the lady. "I need both my hands to hold onto this hat."

"But madam, you must know that you are not wearing any panties and your privates are exposed!" said the gentleman in earnest.

The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, "Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!"

Daryl and Daryl tried to win this hockey night in Canada theme thing, but they don’t seem to get the idea.

Thanks to Santos for the food today, see ya later

www.ilovesantos.ca