The running of the beavers

We start off with some talk about the running of the bulls, and Aaron wonders why we don’t have something like this in Québec. Maybe beavers?

An interesting song request today. A guy all the way from Greece sent an email asking for a song for his girlfriend who’s never heard of him. You had to be there.

Hey a pirate called! He’s refusing to get a hands-free since his parrot keeps pecking at his blue tooth. Makes perfect sense.

Top 4 signs Madonna has stolen your husband!

Bunga from the Jungle gives us a call to let us know that he’s on his way to Montréal for the “Just for Laughs” fest. He’s got some good jokes too!

Kids yes/no Jessica does beautifully! Possibly our youngest winner EVER

Email joke time:
A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy, middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him.

The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her.
Before she could offer her apologies for staring so rudely, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $100.00...on one condition."

Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."
She takes out five twenty’s, and says to the guy; “clean my house”

Winnie has made vacation plans for the guys, but Tasso’s seem a lot more detailed for some reason.

Bunga calls back with yet another project, the dude is talented.

Winnie calls back as well, kind of with more info for Aaron.

That’s it for us for 3 weeks. See you the first week of August!

Wanted!

Pictured above: missing bird Kiwi. If you see him, give us a call at the station. 514.790.0925

More news on cell phones: Rogers is scaling back their iphone plan, which is cool, but we still don’t know what's gonna happen with the text messaging thing. We do know that Tasso is moving to the states to get himself an iphone, a better rate plan, and some scotch.

We play a request for Natalie from the Greg Kihn band; “Jeopardy” good song!

Our first drum intro of the day and everybody gets it! (Even Tasso)

You know we’re now allowed to have yellow margarine in Québec right? Well guess what; there’s even a song about it! “Yellow margarine”

Aaron apologized for everybody losing it yesterday while talking about that poor lost bird in Lachine (Kiwi) we replayed what happened, and also spoke to the owner. She didn’t mind the laughing by the way

We did another comparison of “shake it” from Metro Station and “lovers in a dangerous time” from Bruce Cockburn. Leo the musicologist came in to talk about it.
Email joke from Frank today; a man asked his wife, “What do you love most about me; my tremendous athletic ability or my superior intellect? “What I love most about you,” responded the wife “is your enormous sense of humor.”
Another drum intro, and another easy win “50 ways to leave your lover”
Hey we’re done! One more to go…

"Butta"

“I can’t believe it’s so stupid”

We start off with the old butter/margarine debate, to color or not to color? It’s back in the news.

Aaron kind of plays a request for someone in Zaire, an Akon song that uses a sample of the song she actually asked for. Does that make any sense? Perfect.

Now we’re talking “Mamma Mia”, Aaron is playing us some stuff from the soundtrack. It’s not bad; would you have thought Meryl Streep could sing??? Pierce Brosnan, not so much.

Top 4 new cell phone charges – when will it end?!

Champlain

Drum intro and AGAIN Suzanne knows it right away!

Winnie has some tips on customs for when he goes to his lunch with the “Japanese Counsel guy”

OK, there’s a lost lovebird in Lachine. His name is Kiwi. This is very serious. I mean it. Call us if you see him. We apologize for any laughing that may have somehow gotten on the air.

Well it was certainly a silly day...

Suzanne is back!

We all welcome Suzanne to the studio after her vacation, she’s tanned and lovely!

“Don’t pay”

We’re talking about text messages and gas, both which are getting more and more expensive.

A pretty cool letter from a guy in the States, he asked for “Sunny” and we ACTUALLY PLAYED IT.

Aaron loves to watch that Bachelorette, man, what an embarrassment. At least we got a call from a woman who seemed to enjoy the show. She didn’t want to say what her name is though, I can’t imagine why.

Email joke time, thanks Steven!

Did you hear “Bleeding Gums” yesterday? Lissa did a great job and we play it again for everyone brushing right now…

Top 4 things found in Bill Gates desk. What a dork.

We get a winner for our drum intro song “I’ll take you there” and then we played “let’s talk about sex” which uses a sample from it.

“Gringo Starr”

Celine Dion isn’t too happy about the size of the venue she’s playing in Quebec City, and she calls to let us know.

Aaron brought up the spoon story, and “a certain someone” called to let him know he wasn’t getting them back. Creepy.

Sonia sends us our email joke:
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Hey! Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet. In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blond, the bouncer is blond, and I'm a 6' tall, 200 pound blond with a black belt in karate. What's more, the guy sitting next to me is 6'2," weighs 225 pounds, and he's a blond weight lifter." He continues, "The fella to your right is blond, 6'5" and pushing 300
pounds, and he's a wrestler. Think about it seriously, Mister. You still wanna tell that joke?" The blind guy says, "Nah! Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.

Now we’re playing those Bachelorette clips, Aaron can’t get enough of this stuff. Suzanne thinks he should maybe be on next season.

Winnie is now staying at Tasso’s! It’s going much better. In a way.

"Anybody here from out of town?"

A little tennis talk to start the day. Have you watched? Aaron rarely does, but yesterday he enjoyed the emotion of an incredible match. Tasso thinks john McEnroe needs Paxil (don’t ask)

Another listener request, this one’s actually for Coldplay tickets. So Aaron plays Jimmy Buffet. What's not to get?

“Anybody here from out of town?”

AML has a Historical Cruise this year, and Aaron suggested that maybe a “hysterical cruise” might have been more fun. “

Tammy Moyer had her baby last nigh, a month early. Everybody’s doing fine. Congrats!

Top 4 time: George Bush “positive things” he’s done in office (I know what you’re thinking; “there’s 4!”)

Another “cell phone criminal” calls in to tell us he’s a juggler who refuses to get a hands-free. Wouldn’t that make juggling easier?

Our buddy Bunga calls! I don’t know how this came about, but somehow he’s planning on taking a Canadian citizenship test. He really knows his stuff though.

Email joke time, thanks Phillip!
A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years.
One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant.
Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.
She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.
To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support payments to begin.
One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
"Honey," she said, "you received a very strange post card today."
"Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it” he said. The wife obeyed, and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.
On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without." Send extra sauce.
Aaron has no teaspoons in his house. Isn’t that odd? He’s got butterknives, chopsticks, you name it. Maybe somebody stole them??? Uh oh. Just got a call from a woman who he used to live with. She took his spoons. So did Winnie.
We played our new version of Leona Lewis’ “bleeding love” it’s called “bleeding gums” thanks Lissa V!
A trivia question for you. What’s the significance of this Katy Perry song; “I kissed a girl”?
It’s the 1000th #1 single in Billboard history.

Bye Tammy!

Tammy Moyer had her baby boy last night and everyone is doing fine. She'll now be off on Maternity leave.

The talk goes back to yesterday’s grapefruit discussion and whether or not they're bad for you. Tasso doesn’t care if they are – he likes ‘em!

Aaron plays a request for a song called “Amour”, AND he sings it, much to Tasso’s chagrin.

Top 4 things you DON’T wanna hear at a family picnic – creepy!

TWO “this day in history!”

Another cell phone criminal called, this guys a dentist who refuses to get a hands free, but he ducks to keep the cops from seeing him.

Another drum intro, tough I think, we’ll see who gets it.

Email joke time for a Friday, and it comes to us from Sandra:
A couple had been married for 35 years, and the pair was also celebrating their 60th birthdays. During the celebration, a fairy godmother appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would give them each one wish.
The wife said she wanted to travel around the world. The fairy godmother waved her magic wand and BOOM! The wife had the tickets in her hand.
Then it was the husband’s turn. He paused for a moment, then said boldly, “Well, I’d like to have a wife 30 years younger than I.” The fairy godmother picked up her wand and BOOM! He was now 90.
Well guess who called; Aretha Franklin! She was thrilled that Tasso requested one of her songs and Aaron played “Spanish Harlem” what a great lady. Unfortunately she had a bit of a cold so she couldn’t sing for us on the phone.

We all say bye to Tammy, she’s off on Mat Leave as of today.

Have a great weekend!

"Any birds or plants?"

Some jazz fest talk to start, Aretha tonight, Steely Dan last night was fantastic!

“Kung Fu Choirboys”

Aaron tells about a church that was robbed yesterday, and that inspires Tasso to come up with a movie idea.

Tasso doesn’t want Aaron to sing, ever. So he was happy that he didn’t sing along to Uncle Kracker and “follow me”

Are your kids looking for a summer job? Aaron tells about a website designed to help: www.myfirstpaycheck.com

Joke time!

Did you know you’re not supposed to talk on your phone anymore as you're driving? It’s the law now. “Andy” called from his car and said there’s no way the cops are gonna stop him from doing it since he needs his phone for work. He’s a librarian.

Drum intro time and it’s guessed by Maria in no time – Debbie Boone’s “you light up my life” ugh.

“Cindy Crawford” calls for Aaron. She had a “really great” time, on their “date” yeah, right.

Email joke time, from Helene:
A good family is most concerned that their 30 year old son is unmarried. So, they call a marriage broker and ask him to find their son a good wife.

The broker comes over to their house and spends a long time asking questions of the son and his parents as to what they want in a wife/daughter-in-law. They give him a long shopping list of requirements.
The marriage broker takes a long time looking and finally asks to visit the family again. He then tells them of a wonderful woman he has found.
He says she's just the right age for the son... she keeps a clean home...she regularly attends church...
she is a wonderful cook...she loves children and wants a large family. And, to crown it all off, she's gorgeous.

After hearing all this, the family is very impressed and begins to get excited about the prospects of a wedding in the near future.

But the son pauses and asks: "Is she also good in bed?"

The marriage broker answers, "some say yes...some say no."
Uh oh, coffee Steven Kaffa’s on the phone; he’s a little wound up about this Starbucks story. 600 stores!
We play back the “tape” from the arrival of Samuel de Champlain in Québec. Who knew they had tape back then?
See you tomorrow!

Go help a crow

OK, goofy start. We’re back, post Canada Day. Aaron reads us a couple of crazy headlines that generate a few unintentional laughs. Maybe it’s because he’s starting to now eat breakfast before coming in.

Tasso’s in a silly mood because he has a cold, which is a weird side effect.

We do our first email joke, a classic.

We talk coffee, Starbucks specifically. Bad times all around. Aaron thinks they should have it in the pumps at gas stations

Aaron had a weird run in with a giant crow outside of his house. He tried to talk to it in a soft voice, and it flew away.

Time for a drum intro, I think this one’s pretty tough.

Tasso asked about Aarons date with Cindy Crawford. Apparently it went really well. Sure, sure.

Our jazz expert Dr. Fleibissen is on to tell us what's happening at the jazzfest. He hasn’t been to many shows, but he’s loving the fest.

Finally time for an email joke! This one’s from Frank:
Little Johnny’s father goes to the doctor complaining of tiredness and headaches. "I feel tired all the time, my head hurts, and I'm not sleeping. What is it, Doc?"
The doctor examines him thoroughly and says, "I can't find anything wrong. It must be the drinking."
"Fair enough," Johnny’s dad said. "I'll come back when you sober up."
Why do they call it a grapefruit anyway? And what’s “sorbet” all these questions and more – will probably never be answered. All this to say, the guys love them some grapefruit sorbet.
Winnie is finally leaving Aaron’s place, with some of his stuff. Are there squatter’s rights after two weeks? Anyway, she’s going to Tasso’s now. Good luck buddy.

Singing into garlic

The guys kick it off by talking about Aaron’s daughter who’s on her way to NYC. Tasso still remembers her as a little one, singing into garlic.

Did you hear about the marauding elephants in India? Tasso thinks the best way to get rid of them would be to dress as a mouse, but apparently stinky camels are the best way.

Time for the early morning request, somebody wants to hear “Journey” so of course we play “Roberta Flack”

A SUPER easy drum intro today – you gotta know this one. Got a winner in two seconds.

Top 4 time, Bill Gates retirement plans.

We play some yes/no with the kids for a Friday. Emma’s up first. And she’s out in 1 second.

No winners, but a fun game none the less.

Email joke time:
A three-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctor's office.
He inquisitively asked the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"
She replied, "I'm having a baby."
With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"
She answered, "He sure is."
Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"
She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby."
With an even more surprised and shocked look he asked, "Then why did you eat him?"

Aaron has a date this weekend. With Cindy Crawford. Kind of.

One more drum intro, might be a tough one; Cher’s ‘Half breed’ not too tough after all!

Winnie called to try to make amends with Aaron, but I don’t think its working; especially since she used his credit card to buy the wine for him.

It’s our big Canada day weekend and Aaron kicks it off by playing some Andy Kim.

A Jazz "Idle thought" to kick off the start of the Jazz fest. Get it? Have a great Canada Day!

Sharper Image Weather-resistant Grill Fork Thursday

Some “polititalk” (hey, I just made up that word!)

Phillipe Couillard, Maxime Bernier

A titanic life jacket that got auctioned for $65,000!

Leonard Cohen called to give Aaron heck over his driving. The guy was bouncing off the walls.

Top 4 worst Sharper Image products. Some of them sound good to me.

Aaron plays us some Kid Rock, and then the fake “steal everything” PSA. What do you think?

We have a “Jazz professional” on the air to tell us what’s going on tonight. He’s a little wound up, but an interesting guy!

Email joke time, from Catherine
A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and was on the verge of being burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to change careers
and become an auto mechanic.

He found out from the local technical college what was involved, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently and learned all he could. When the time for the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill.

When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the instructor saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wondered if there has been an error that needs adjusting?" The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly which is also worth 50% of the mark."

The instructor went on to say, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did all of it through the muffler.

Lenny makes his apology to Spanish soccer fans. In Spanish. The guys amazing.

Winnie had a party at Aaron’s place and had a few problems. She drank his OLD wine from 1902.

Top 4 and we’re done!

What day is it again?

Suzanne is on vacation till next week, but the rest of us are here. On a Wednesday. It's weird, last night felt like Sunday.

So everyone enjoyed their St jean’s celebrations, from where they were.

Aaron had a weird run in with Leonard Cohen, who drives way too slow. His show had a great review though.

We have a listener request, from a woman who doesn't want to hear that Little hybrid parody, so of course we play it for her.

Yet another interesting Today in history fact informative.

Aaron tells us the Top 4 ways to know it’s summer, and we realize that some of these are actually true!

It was time for an 80’s song intro - and even though there's no Suzanne to get it, we get a winner right away.

Aaron had a bbq over the weekend which turned out to be a vegatarian one, since he forgot the meat.

Mayor Tremblay calls us up with yet another slogan, that guy is always thinking.

Email joke from Shannon:
The friends were both only a year short of retirement from the assembly line, but one Monday morning that didn't keep Joe from boasting to Manny about his sexual endurance. "Three times," gasped Manny admiringly. "How'd you do it?" "It was easy." Joe looked down modestly. "I made love to my wife, and then I rolled over and took a ten-minute nap. When I woke up again, I made love to her again and took another ten-minute nap. And then I put it to her again. Can you believe it! I woke up this morning feeling like a bull, I'll tell you." "I gotta try it," said Manny. "Lorraine won't believe it's happening." So that night he made love to his wife, took a ten-minute nap, made love to her again, took another nap, woke up and made love to her a third time, then rolled over and fell sound asleep. He woke up feeling like a million bucks, pulled on his clothes, and ran to the factory, where he found his boss waiting outside for him. "What's up, Boss?" he asked. "I've been working for you for twenty years and never been late once. You aren't going to hold these twenty minutes against me now, are you?" "What twenty minutes?" growled the boss. "Where were you on Tuesday and Wednesday?"

Katie melua comes in to chat. She's in town for the Jazzfest. She's got two shows coming up.

A what’s this question and our second caller figures out that nobody sends postcards anymore.

More on Aaron's Leonard Cohen encounter and we're done for the day. See you tomorrow.

Seedless Friday

Wow. Off to a crazy start today! Suzanne is off on vacation first of all. We’re talking about severed feet, seedless grapes, Croatian soccer and all kinds of craziness.

Laura Brannigan is our listener request, and we actually play “Ti Amo”

Email joke and straight into a drum intro; “Shake your groove thing”

Mayor Tremblay calls in to give us a couple of new slogans. That guy never stops working.

We got a winner for our drum intro, it’s Crystal!

Top 4 noisiest toys – and they sure sound noisy!

Time for another drum intro – this one’s from Shalimar “The second time around” do you remember it???

We’ve got an email joke and it’s about lawyers; thanks Anita!
A truck driver amused himself by running over lawyers as they walked down the side of the road. Every time he saw a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him. There would be a loud "thud", and then he would swerve back on the road.

As the truck driver drove along one day, he saw a priest hitch hiking, he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?"

The priest said he was on his way to his church up the road.

"I'll give you a lift."

The priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. Suddenly, the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively swerved to hit him. At the last minute, he remembered he had a priest in the truck and swerved back onto the road. Even though he knew he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud "thud." Unsure of where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors. When he didn't see anything, he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry, Father. I almost hit a lawyer."

The priest replied, "That's OK, I got him with the door."

Kids yes/no time – it goes really well for Mikael, he’s our first contestant and has NO problem.

Lenny the intern has a few questions about dating, we tried to help him, but we’re not sure if it worked.

It’s our buddy Sam Ting on the phone! He’s promoting Kung Fu Panda. We have no idea why.

That’s it for today, see you on Wednesday! Have a great weekend.

Sharp dressed man

Tasso can’t get over the fact that Aaron came in wearing a suit today. He won’t say what he has to do after the show, but it looks cool.

So Aaron’s mom wants to know why he’s wearing a suit today. We’re posting a picture, but it’s kind of hard to explain it to her.

Top 4 cheapest vacation destinations, we may wind up at one of these this year.

Another tough drum intro – Pat Benatar and Suzanne once again knows it! Maude wins, and she is HAPPY!

Larry Day is in to tell us about Strangers in the Night which is happening on the 28th for the Starlight foundation.

Now the country song of the week; Keith Urban’s “You look good in my shirt”. What do you think?

It’s the email joke of the day, this one’s from Colombe:
Basically, a guy walks into a record store and realizes he forgot his wallet. Rather than going home to get it, he decides to steal it by putting it down his pants. As he tries to sneak out, the cashier yells at him; “hey, is that a record in your pants?” to which he replies; “I don’t think so, but I haven’t had any complaints”

Hey its our pal Renato on the phone! He’s pretty psyched about the Italian soccer team, and he’s SURE they're gonna go all the way.

Q92 orchestra time, to Roxette’s “she’s got the look”. Winnie watched TV with Aaron last night, since she’s stuck staying in his house. She wants to have a friend over while Aarons gone this weekend. Can you imagine he said it was OK?

We close off with a vacation song for Suzanne, since she’s gone for the next two weeks on vacation.

See you tomorrow!

Aaron is locked out

Aaron got locked out of his house yesterday

Tasso thinks electric toilets are a bad idea. Even if it has an Mpooh3 player

Song request for the Zombies, but Aaron’s not playing that one. He’s playing the Youngblood’s instead “get together”. Why not?

Gas talk, never a good thing.

“Don’t tap on the glass”

Aaron introduces the crew, not the least of whom Suzanne Desautels in the “cage of rage”

What would you do with no cell phone or electricity? Tasso would know. Aaron not so much.

We play an imaginary wedding tape of George Takei’s wedding, officiated by William Shatner.

Top 4 mp3 tazer songs, part IV

Do you remember our driving song? “Bitch” with our pal Irene Marc singing? It’s been a while, but Aaron plays it to get out some of his driving frustrations.

Winnie is still in the basement, and she needs a few things to spruce the place up. Lamp, comforter, food, the basics.

Email joke time – this one’s from Joanna:
An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat tight so that it would not blow away in the wind.

A gentleman approached her and said,

"Pardon me, madam.

I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?"

"Yes, I know," said the lady. "I need both my hands to hold onto this hat."

"But madam, you must know that you are not wearing any panties and your privates are exposed!" said the gentleman in earnest.

The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, "Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!"

Daryl and Daryl tried to win this hockey night in Canada theme thing, but they don’t seem to get the idea.

Thanks to Santos for the food today, see ya later

www.ilovesantos.ca

"Who puts a fountain in their bathroom?"

Aaron had a strange thing happen yesterday. His electric toilet stopped working. Actually all of his stuff stopped working.

“Yesterday’s horoscopes”
Tasso tells everybody what should have happened yesterday. Aaron’s was right!

We play a request for a listener, the Zombies, she’s not there. Get your requests in!

Aaron’s facial was canceled yesterday in case you’re wondering.

Email joke (the first one) of the day!

We play a new version of the Get Smart theme, just voices, pretty cool.

Alphonso Gagliano called to tell us about his Eurocup party for Italy. It’s free for everybody! All you gotta do is know the password.

Aaron has a weird story about a kidnapping that happened in Italy. Suzanne says lock him up. Tasso says beat him with a stick. Aaron says nothing.

A guy named Steven Kaffa calls from some coffee association. That dude is wound UP!

Nikki Yanofsky comes in to have a chat, she’s really good, and she brought donuts!

Can you imagine we’re having a fashion discussion about jeans? Luckily its time for the email joke. From Claudia:
Little Johnny was filling in a hole in his backyard, when little Jenny peered over the fence and noticed what he was doing.

Knowing Little Johnny, yet still curious, Little Jenny hesitantly asked, "What are you up to there, Little Johnny?

"My goldfish died," Little Johnny replied, "and I've just buried him."

Little Jenny looked at the rather sizable hole little Johnny was filling, and asked, "Why such a big hole for a little goldfish, Johnny?"

Little Johnny solemnly patted down the last heap of earth before replying, "Because he's inside your cat."

Another drum intro – not so tough.

So Winnie’s hiding out in Aaron’s basement. She changed his alarm code and likes banana bread (you had to be there)

Extreme chess

Aaron had the big charity game this weekend and everybody had a great time, cash was raised, fun was had, all for a good cause. Ok but they lost.

Tasso suggested that Aaron should give up baseball for chess, something more his speed. That's after his charity game he played on Saturday.

Fathers Day was good for Tasso; he got some cash, cologne, and cheeseburgers!

Aaron's was pretty good as well – he got cashmere socks, seriously

Time for a top 4 on electric cars, you wouldn’t think they’d be so dangerous.

We get into a conversation about thunderstorm safety with Mo, who was wondering what you should do:
IF YOU’RE OUTDOORS:
• Keep an eye at the sky. Look for darkening skies, flashes of lightning, or increasing winds. Lightning often precedes rain, so don’t wait for the rain to begin. If you hear the sound of thunder, go to a safe place immediately.
• The best place to go is a sturdy building or a car, but make sure the windows in the car are shut. Avoid sheds, picnic areas, baseball dugouts and bleachers.
• If there is no shelter around you, stay away from trees. Crouch down in the open area, keeping twice as far away from a tree as far as it is tall. Put your feet together and place your hands over your ears to minimize hearing damage from thunder.
• If you’re with a group of people stay about 15 feet from each other.
• Stay out of water. It’s a great conductor of electricity. Swimming, wading, snorkeling and scuba diving are not safe. Also, don’t stand in puddles.
• Avoid metal. Stay away from clotheslines, fences, and drop your backpacks because they often have metal on them.
• If you’re playing an outdoor activity, wait at least 30 minutes after the last observed lightning strike or thunder.
Now you know!
The mayor calls in to tell us about his new transit plan, which includes a metro to the West Island. Eventually. One of these days. At least he had a couple of good slogans!
Email joke for ya, from Phil.
A furniture dealer from Arkansas, decided to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris to see what he could find.

After arriving in Paris he met with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well back home in Arkansas. To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine. As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house.

Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table, asked him something in French (which he did not understand), and motioned toward the chair. He invited her to sit down. He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language so, after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her.

She nodded, and he ordered a glass of wine for her. After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded.

They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music. They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up.

Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed.

To this day, he has no idea how she figured out he was in the furniture business.

See you tomorrow!

Livin' on a sprayer

Friday morning.

Our producer Ed Flintstone is back, he was sprayed by a skunk yesterday on his way in. supposedly he doesn’t stink anymore, OK, actually he does. A bit, OK, a lot.

The days are getting longer and Tasso warns Aaron not to mention it when the days start getting shorter.

Time for our first joke, from Brian:
A father came home from a long business trip to find his son riding a new 21 speed mountain bike. "Where did you get the money for the bike? It must have cost $300," he asked. "Easy, Dad," little Johnny replied. "I earned it hiking." "Come on Johnny," the father said. "Tell me the truth." "That is the truth!" Johnny replied. "Every night you were gone, Mom's boss, Mr. Reynolds, would come over to see Mom. He'd give me a $20 bill and tell me to take a hike!"

Warm and fuzzy hydro spokesman Yves Lumiere calls to tell us exactly why there’s still some power outages around.

Tasso does the top 4, and it’s the top 4 reasons you shouldn’t date Aaron!

DKD is here to promote the big show in Moncton for ALS.

Email joke once again, this time from Maria:
An old woman is riding in an elevator in a very lavish Mayfair building, when a young and beautiful women gets into the elevator, smelling of expensive perfume. She turns to the old woman and says arrogantly," Romance" by Ralph Lauren, $250 a bottle. Then another young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator and also very arrogantly turns to the old woman saying, "Chanel No. 5, $200 a bottle. About three floors later the old woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, she looks both beautiful women in the eye, then bends over and farts and says "Rapini 99 cents a pound". An oldie but a goodie.

We wrap up the auction and say goodbye until Monday...

Thursday. It's only Thursday.

Country music Thursday. Again. Cool start to the day, it’s only 11 this morning.

We play a listener request from Micheline, who wanted to hear Pretty Woman. Of course we didn’t play it, not right away anyway, not until Tasso yelled at him.

Bonus Tasocino Thursday!

Drum intro time, just a laugh today, do you know it??? (Duran Duran)

We got a winner and yup; Suzanne knew it.

OK, a crazy discussion ensues when Maureen asks what the guys would like for Father’s Day. Don’t ask about spas, Jeez!

We have David and Mateo here who are doing a lemonade stand for cancer research, good going guys!

More zaniness when Aaron plays Vanilla Ice’s “Ice ice baby” for the 80’s song, and we get to hear some rapping on the air!

See you tomorrow…

Maybe???

Here's something Aaron read on the show today.

Maybe we were supposed to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

Maybe the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

Maybe the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

Maybe it is true that we don't know what we have until we lose it, but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives.

Maybe you should hope for enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy.

Maybe when the door of happiness closes, another opens; but, often at times, we look so long at the closed door that we don't even see the new one which has been opened for us.

Maybe the brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past. After all, you can't go on successfully in life until you let go of your past mistakes, failures, and heartaches.

Maybe giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart. But, if it doesn't, be content that it grew in yours.

Maybe you should do something nice for someone every single day, even if it is simply to leave them alone.

Maybe happiness waits for all those who cry, all those who hurt, all those who have searched, and all those who have tried: for only they can appreciate the importance of all the people who have touched their lives.

Maybe you shouldn't go for looks; they can deceive; don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.

Maybe you should dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go, be what you want to be, because you have only one chance in this lifetime to do all the things you dream of, and want to do.

Maybe you should always try to put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that something could hurt you, it probably will hurt the other person, too.

Maybe there are moments in life when you miss someone - a parent, a spouse, a friend, a child - so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real, so that for once they are around you to appreciate them more.

I trust a lot, and might even too much. I try as hard as I can not to let down the most important people.
I change my mind all the time, and i might be just like you. I love being in great moods, and right now life is gooood

Guess who's burning your dinner

A nice cool Wednesday to start off – nowhere near as hot as it was yesterday.

Hey Aaron and Suzanne were cooking last night! Aaron actually made stuff; the evidence is in the photo above!

Ever have to reserve food? Aaron saw an ad for reserving lobsters. Can you think of any food you’d have to call for ahead of time? I guess turkeys’, “terduckens”.

Email joke.

We do a drum intro and AGAIN Suzanne gets it right away! “Oh what a night”

Top 4 list of maybes - ??? Kinda weird

Suzanne gets ANOTHER drum intro right! How does she do it???

Joke time from Trisha:
An 80 year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up.
The doctor asked him how he was feeling and the 80-year-old said, “Things are great and I’ve never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that?”
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began: “I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season. One day while setting off to hunt, he was in a bit of a hurry and accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun.”
As he neared a lake he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water’s edge. He realized he’d left his gun at home and so couldn’t shoot the magnificent creature, but out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle and went ‘bang, bang’.
“Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. Now, what do you think of that?” asked the doctor.
The 80-year-old said, “If you ask me, I’d say somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver.”
The doctor replied, “My point exactly.”
The big Gainey Foundation charity event is coming up, Laura and Candice are here to tell us a bit about it. Tuesday night at Metropolis. www.gaineyfoundation.com

Hydro Québec spokesman Yves Lumiere calls to give us an update on the power outages around town. He’s in a great mood as usual.

Cristina is here now from “Cook and Date” a pretty cool service! www.cookanddate.com

You ever notice that Nickelback guy sounds kind of aggressive when he sings? I think he does.

Top 4 time once again, and we’re done. See ya.

Konichiwa!

What's up with tomatoes? Apparently you can grow them in “vermiculite” that’s what Tasso says anyway. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vermiculite

Its gonna be another hot one – 32 today!

Nobody can believe that Aaron watches “the Bachelorette” yikes. Last night he changed the channel right in the middle of it!

It’s a miracle! Tasso, Suzanne and Patrick have NEVER watched Pretty Woman, can you imagine! It makes Tasso get up and shout it out of the studio door! Praise the lord!

Time for the first email joke of the day.

“Spider Rand” OK, we like making fun of Aaron clothes from time to time.

Top 4 least-loved mystery novels, good stuff!

Father’s day is coming up, and that prompts us to play our “Macho Dad”

If you're thinking about climbing Mount Kilimanjaro, like out guests, here’s the website
www.killy2008.org

Email joke for the day, from Wayne:
A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging
Two large plastic garbage bags with her, one in each
hand. Unfortunately, there's a rip in one of the bags
and every once in a while a $20 note falls out onto the
pavement.

Noticing this, a policeman stops her. "Ma'am, there are
$20 bills falling out of your bag ..."

"Oh, really? Darn!" says the little old lady. "I'd
better go back and see if I can collect them. Thanks
for the warning!"

"Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you
get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"

"Oh, no!" says the little old lady. "You see my back
yard is right next to the parking lot of the football
stadium. Each time there's a game, a lot of fans come
and pee through the bushes right into my flower beds!
So, I go and stand behind the bushes with a big hedge
clipper, and each time someone sticks his little thingy
through the bushes, I say, "$20 or off it comes.''

"'Well that seems only fair," laughs the cop. "Okay,
good luck! By the way, what’s in the other bag?"

"Well, says the little old lady, "some of them think I’m bluffing!”

We talk to Sylvie all the way from Japan! She gives us some Japanese lessons. Great fun!

Winnie is still busy with this facial for Aaron – it’s really tough working for him. She also needs a reference.

Top 4 and we’re done – see you tomorrow!

Hot one!

It’s hot AND humid. Can’t start the day without some weather talk.

Aaron has a great idea to make the Grand Prix more fun for the kids, Suzanne wasn’t too impressed though.

Suzanne managed to get a cab ride back from the race; she shared it with too nice dudes.

Aaron went to see “Zohan” and loved it!

Email joke time.

Tasso has decided to slow down his driving, to save a little gas. Shouldn’t we all be doing that?

Did you hear us talking about the Jessica Alba staring contest? Here’s the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmzcKXsllWs

Aaron plays us a drum intro that he’s SURE that NO ONE is gonna get. First caller through.

Top 4 summer classes for men. Suzanne LOVED it.

Winnie was at the Gran Prix “networking” with clients, like Jean Charest and Kid Rock.

Email joke once again:
A policeman was patrolling a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. There was a young man in the driver's seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat knitting. He stopped to investigate. He walked up to the driver's window and knocked. The young man looked up, cranked the window down, and said, "Yes Officer?"
"What are you doing?" the policeman asked.
"What does it look like?" answered the young man. "I'm reading this magazine."
Pointing towards the young lady in the back seat, the officer then asked, "And what is she doing?"
The young man looked over his shoulder and replied, "What does it look like? She's knitting."
"And how old are you?" the officer then asked the young man.
"I'm nineteen," he replied.
"And how old is she?" asked the officer.
The young man looked at his watch and said, "Well, in about twelve minutes she'll be eighteen."
Pauline Marois is here with the English phrase of the day “mange pas t’es bobettes!”

Top 4 to close and we’re done!

The law of the garbage truck.

Aaron read this a couple of times on air, here's the text.


One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport .
We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a car jumped out of a
parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his
breaks, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver
of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us.
My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean he was
really friendly.

So I asked, "Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your
car and sent us to the hospital!" This is when my taxi driver taught
me what I now call "The Law of the Garbage Truck."

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run
around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full
of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to
dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it
personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't
take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or
on the streets.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks
take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with
regrets, so..... "Love the people who treat you right. Forgive the
ones who don't."

Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!

Friday morning

Another rainy Friday, plus Tasso's not here! Ah well, we're still gonna have some fun.

We do our first giveaway and Andy guesses “Ballroom Blitz” correctly!

Top 4 signs you may need a new lawyer were pretty good, gotta love lawyer jokes!

We've go Janet Jackson tickets to give away, and that prompts us to play a clip of Suzanne singing.

Email joke time again, send yours in to aaronandtasso@q92fm.com

Friday theme time, um, kinda

Time for an email joke from Rosa:

An old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. He followed me into the house, down the hall, and fell asleep in a corner. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.
The next day he was back, resumed his position in the hall, and slept for an hour. This continued for several weeks. Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: "Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap." The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar: "He lives in a home with four children -- he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?"

We get a winner from our 70’s drum intro – “Boogie Fever”

We're done. Enjoy the piazza, enjoy the race, and we'll see you here Monday!

A little bit of political stuff (just enough) to start the day.

Some Grand Prix stuff, which is cool, it's gonna be fun!

A request for a Mariah Carey song, and again, Aaron actually plays it! (two days back to back?)

Email joke, early style.

Ed McMahon is broke and we've got the tape to prove it! I'm not sure that Ed actually knows he's broke though, he seems too happy.

Drum intro time, an easy one! “What a fool believes” from the Doobies

Top 4 things Hillary is going to do now that she's no longer busy. I actually like the DWTS idea!

Barry Manilow's tonight, so we play our Barry Metal-O album commercial.

It's been a long time, but we do a "What’s this" question. Interesting, but easy.

Alphonso Gagliano is STILL begging people to ask him to run, now he's got a "Fache Book" account and everything.

Stanley Basil calls to tell us about tomorrow's food - and sing!

Another Drum intro – "Pina Colada song" easy-peasy

Email joke from Frank today:
A grandfather always made a special effort with his grandchildren. Many Sunday mornings he would take his 7-year old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some bonding time. One particular Sunday however, he had a bad cold and he really didn't feel like being up at all. Luckily, grandma came to the rescue and said that she would take the grandchild out. When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see Pop Pop.
'Well,' the grandfather asked, 'did you enjoy your ride with Nana? ' 'Oh yes, Pop Pop' the girl replied, 'and do you know what? We didn't see a single dumb bastard, stupid idiot, or jackass anywhere!

Winnie calls to check if she had any calls from anyone important (!)

Time for a Country song, this one's from Gretchen Wilson

Email joke, a few kind words, and we'll see you on the piazza!